That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I will be naked everywhere
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
