Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
