haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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