East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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