I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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