We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
