I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
