I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
