Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
