is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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