If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I am morally bankrupt
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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