Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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