wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
