I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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