Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I will pee on everything he values.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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