i can't believe i had my finger in that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
