question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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