oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
