I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think my moral compass just broke
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