this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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