Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Do vagina's smell?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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