stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
