I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
