just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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