There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
