I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize