You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize