tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
