Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
