I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
