So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
