I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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