you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
