He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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