I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Will exercising make me less horny?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
