yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She said her name was "party"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
