I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
