Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
