now i know why i became what i already was.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hippo gnu deer
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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