you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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