Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
