You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
