Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
