my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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