I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How external is "for external use only"?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
