I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
