can we get nightvision for the apartment?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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