are you still at the devil's house?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize