I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had to cum in my sink.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize