so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
