I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We don't watch enough power rangers
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
