Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there was a trapeze. enough said
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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