Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
