I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
