Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
