Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
