The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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