Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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