white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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