after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
