He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize