He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
