Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
