elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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