Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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