My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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