your thong is hanging out like whoa
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
