i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
