Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
