covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
His nipple licking is glorious
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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