He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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